I am amazed at animals.

They are a blur of response.

How do they do this?

I find it difficult even to remember
how to make certain expressions,
say certain things.

Smiles feel rubbery.
A grimace pulls my face upwards and downwards.
A frown hurts my forehead.
Mostly, I let it all go slack unless I need to show my brother
that I am angry.

He seems to think that a memory
and a capacity to think are the same.
They're not.

The process of thought can be divorced from the recognition
of time or the ability to process information coming from the outside world.

I get confused and frightened by large groups of people now.
I can't hear what they're saying--
it turns into a vast buzz and I feel as though I am being watched from all sides.

You could say I've learned a great deal
of humility as well.
I had never thought much of humility.
I had always thought of Uriah Heep instead.
But it's not like that.

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