A sinuous creature, forever asking around my guard,
asking me things I did not want to answer,
did not want to think about.
Asking me why did I contradict myself,
why was I so inconsistent, so unreliable
when it came to something as simple as a fact?
Where were my affections?
I could not answer.
I was too ashamed to take a stab at his direction.
Why was I such a hypocrite? Why keep friends I could not bear?
Because he was funny. We could not stop laughing when we were together,
he circling round me, pouring abuse, proof enough
that I had a sense of humour.