A sinuous creature, forever asking around my guard,

asking me things I did not want to answer,

did not want to think about.

Asking me why did I contradict myself,

why was I so inconsistent, so unreliable

when it came to something as simple as a fact?

Where were my affections?

I could not answer.

I was too ashamed to take a stab at his direction.

Why was I such a hypocrite? Why keep friends I could not bear?

Because he was funny. We could not stop laughing when we were together,

he circling round me, pouring abuse, proof enough

that I had a sense of humour.