Mika used to say to me:
"I often have hallucinations about the Devil."
I'm in the devil, of this I am sure.
I'm looking at the devil. An albino devil with no eyes, just smooth marbled
sockets. Eyelids that cannot close.
I looked in the sink today: I saw it. The neck was long and slender like
a tape worm. The head was large and bulbous. The tongue was long, grey and
sticky. The face pushed itself into mine.
Since three o'clock I've been having hallucinations. I see a man stuck through
the back of a horse like a stake. Butchered bodies festooned on the ceiling.
It's daylight and I see this in front of me, not merely in the corner of
my eye: it is like a projection superimposed upon the walls, the chair,
the window, the bed. These day light hallucinations.
I felt all day as though someone is trying to enter me. Through my shoulderblades:
they want to push aside my shoulderblades and enter into my backbone. You
know that the nerve in the backbone leads straight into the cranium.
It's dark and heavy and its lying on my back---on my shoulders and covering
my back---and heavy, as though it were sitting on my chest; I can't breathe
as well as I'm used to. I have an unexplainable cut on the side of my head,
above my ear. There's a boil on my nape, as though
something bit me.
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