The back legs of the hyena are disproportionately short. It laughs hideously and it feeds on carrion. It can crush anything with its jaws, travels in packs, is alternately nervous and belligerent, possibly a product of Caligula's inbreeding with his sister. I have been tracing the lineage of one pack back to Romulus and Remus. My father shows me how to crack a Brazil nut with my backteeth. This is the only thing he has ever taught me how to do.

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